Shendra Kalanni Patrick- Chapter II

Shendra KaLanni Patrick was born on October 15th, 1992. I found out almost a month after Bryce had died that I was pregnant but that baby wasn’t meant to be as I miscarried a few days later. I turned twenty two that same month in 1991. Thinking about those days is hard as they were so difficult. I lost both of my jobs and had nothing to do with my time but brood and let myself be filled with despair. I couldn’t eat and when I did sleep my dreams were full of Bryce, which made things worse. Sometimes I would dream he was still alive and was despondent after waking up and realizing it was but a dream. Other times I would dream about his death and the guilt that I struggled with. I just wanted to curl up and die. When I lost the baby, I lay on the floor in a fetal position and just wept. I felt that Heavenly Father felt I wasn’t worthy of being a mother. Bill came to me and said that he felt as though Bryce had appeared to him and promised him that we would have another baby and it would be a girl. It was a promise from heaven.
The holidays were dismal that year and in January of 1992, Bill made the decision to move us back to Nevada so I could be closer to my parents and four younger sisters. Later that month I found out that I was pregnant once more. We were so very frightened but also extremely excited. It was a rough pregnancy and in the fourth month I took a nasty fall and had to be rushed to the ER. I was put on bed rest and sent to a chiropractor. When I was five months along Bill and I were walking home from the doctor’s office and we were hit by a car. Thankfully the car wasn’t going very fast but it knocked me off of my feet and allowed the car to go over my belly. Bill screamed and threw his soda at the car, which startled the driver to the point of where he backed up over me. Once more it was back to the hospital where I got my first look at my baby. She showed me her butt and then flipped over and proved Bill’s words to be true. We were having a girl.
Shendra saved us, in every possible way a person could be saved.
When I was seven months along Bill and I made the painful decision to move once more to Utah, but this time to Richfield where my lovely Aunt Pearl lived so he could start college. Aunt Pearl offered us a room until we could get on our feet. We stayed for a little over two months before we could move. Bill was working for the state while attending Snow College. I sat and waddled and felt as though the humidity was going to suck Shendra right out of me.
Despite the fact that I desperately missed my parents and siblings, we settled into life in Richfield. It was much different than the Las Vegas we were used to. Then about the thirteenth of October my doctor sent my cousin Denalyn over to our house to tell me I needed to go to the hospital as my blood work came back with some bad news. Bill and I drove there in silence, nothing but fear in our minds and heart. My doctor, Dr. Moreford, explained that I was having problems with Pre-eclampsia as well as diabetes. I was to spend the night there and they would start inducing the baby first thing in the morning.
I spent thirty six hours on Pit with Bill running back and forth from holding my hands when the contractions hit to his cross stitch he was doing for the baby. We had decided on the name of Shendra for two of my favorite sisters, Kendra and Sherilyn and then KaLanni as it was Hawaiian for Heavenly Promise.
Dr. Moreford came in and told us that we needed another c-section as there was trouble with the babies’ heart. I sobbed, telling Bill over and over that it was just like Brycie. He held my hand firmly and reassured me that all would be well. So, once again Bill was right as Shendra was wonderfully healthy and happy with a wealth of black hair and green eyes. After her birth Dr. Moreford explained that the accident I had had with the car had ruptured my uterus and amniotic fluid had leaked into the broad ligaments of my legs. We would be able to have one more child but only if we were able to get pregnant before Shenny, as we nicknamed her, was a year old.
Over time Shendra's hair has lightened to a reddish brown but those wonderful green eyes that remind me of Grandpa H are still there. As of now she is seventeen and one of the loves of my lives. I feel as though Heavenly Father knew I would only get one girl so he sent me the most special one he had in heaven.